The Coats I Would Buy If I Wasn’t Broke

Dressing for winter generally renders the wearer in one of two categories. One is the full muppet, wherein the wearer has donned as many scarves, coats, and fluffy materials as possible to combat the cold. This includes a hat that conceals most of the face and leaves only two beady little eyes peering out from underneath, silently pleading for a respite to the misery that is winter.

The second is the fashion winter lewk (NOT “look”, you ignorant peasant). This is completely impractical and may even include the cardinal sin of bare ankles in January, but that matters not because an Instagram feed waits for no sunshine. You’re not fooling anyone, New Yorker wearing only a chiffon blouse and jeans in the middle of a snowstorm, we know you have a puffer jacket the size of Texas draped around the Instagram husband/unsuspecting friend/Uber driver currently taking the photo.

I nonetheless appreciate your commitment to chiffon.

Prior to moving to the city, I fancied myself rather adept at dealing with colder climates. I’d been skiing three times, after all, and had survived two separate wintry trips to Scotland. Snowmageddon MY ASS, I said flippantly to the imaginary camera crew following me around and documenting my every move. I had this winter business under control!

And then the gods smote me.

I quickly learned that winter in New York is unlike winter anywhere else, except possibly Antarctica, but I have no current designs to move there (the minimalist all-white backdrop would wash me out). After my first January here, I began planning my excursions in terms of frostbite shelters. How many Starbucks were there between my apartment and the restaurant that I could duck into for four minutes of refuge? Was there a Duane Reade I could step inside to feign interest in upper lip waxing kits whilst I warmed my hands?

I am currently in possession of three separate coats, only one of which is actually warm. It belonged—like most things in my wardrobe—to my mother, until I guilted the poor woman into letting me have it. And I love it with the passion of a thousand Spaniards, but as someone who does not ascribe to the capsule closet theory and doesn’t have to wear a uniform, it’s getting a little tired.

Unfortunately for me, small practical annoyances like “rent” and “dinner” preclude me from spending my paycheck on new coats with which to update my wardrobe. Being that I already have three, I can’t justify the purchase. But can I justify spending hours online looking at the coats and jackets I wish I could buy?

Probably not, because I have a job and deadlines, but here we are.

chic winter coats 2018 | whatkumquat.com123456789

14 Comments

  1. Every winter I think I’m going to be some glamorous winter fashion model and every winter I wear the same knee-length black puffer until May. Someday I will have a beautiful coat collection.

  2. This has been such a rough winter in the Northeast- it’s even worse up here in Vermont than NYC!!! What cute coats though, I’ve had to get myself some new ones to cope with the temps lol!

    xoxo A
    http://www.southernbelleintraining.com

  3. Loving all of your picks! I need to buy a good coat.

  4. ohhh i loveeee them all! but that blush one stole my heart!!

  5. Haha I feel ya – winter is so hard for me! I live in DC and I feel like people in the mid-atlantic have the worst extremes from both the north and the south – hot and humid summers with the coldest of winters. I love the sixth coat – the color is so pretty!

  6. I love your choices for winter coats! All of these are so stylish and I love the color variations!

  7. Number 3 is my favorite! I love the color and the style.

  8. I’ve always wondered about the past tense of ‘smite’ I’ve heard smited, smat and smote lol. Cute coats!

  9. omg this post is too perfect, and i love that we are eyeing some of the same coats if only money wasn’t a problem xD

  10. All those coats are so cute, Ill take one of each please.

  11. Omg! I love the statement number 5 would make!!!! Love it!!

  12. The title of this post is me right now haha. I love coats, and am seriously lusting over a camel one! Great picks!

  13. #2 is so elegant! And yeah, New York prices, I hear ya! I struggle to have enough spare change for coffee sometimes
    -Emily
    https://norepeatsorhesitations.com/2018/01/31/top-5-purchases-made-january/

  14. McKenna Bleu

    LOL! Love the title of this post. I love coat # 3!

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