Where To Wear This Year’s Met Gala Ensembles

Another year, another Met Gala spent spying on celebrities via Instagram stories and judging their clothes like I’m the reincarnation of Miranda Priestly sent to rescue the fashion industry I’m not even part of. Ah, blogging.

This year’s theme seemed particularly difficult to stick to, so most attendees just straight up did not. Honoring the innovative designs of Rei Kawakubo (the visionary behind Comme Des Garçons and this understated number), the Met Gala sought to pay homage to probably the most subversive and avant-garde designer of our time. The problem with this of course is that celebrities have images to maintain, and arguably do not want photographic evidence of them wearing a peter pan-collared, human-enveloping black disk. No matter how wonderfully weird said black disk is.

So instead of judging the fashion, something which I’m neither qualified nor have the energy to do, I’m instead presenting some of my favourite lewks and on what occasion I would wear them.

Met Gala 2017 Recap: Emmy Rossum
For when I have to audition for an indie stage adaptation of Victor/Victoria and don’t feel like toting around two outfits (I’m taking the metro to the audition)
Met Gala 2017 Recap: Priyanka Chopra
For when I have to present at the Oscars but, by some cruel twist of fate, the sprinkler system at the Dolby Theatre is malfunctioning so I have to be prepared
Met Gala 2017 Recap: Jennifer Lopez
For when I want to dress up like Princess Jasmin but the Halloween party I’m going to is a work-sponsored one so I’ve gotta stay classy, San Diego
Met Gala 2017 Recap: Rihanna
For when I’ve had it up to HERE with the cold weather and if Punxsutawney Phil won’t do anything to remedy the situation, I will herald spring on my own terms
Met Gala 2017 Recap: Tracee Ellis Ross
For when I want to wear my Snuggie in public but my mom said no 
Met Gala 2017 Recap: Zendaya
For when I become the Queen of Spain and must hold court to mediate a farmer dispute between my people
Met Gala 2017 Recap: Hailey Baldwin
For when I have to perform at the opera but really wanna show off my holiday tan
Met Gala 2017 Recap: Kate Bosworth
For when I attend the funeral of an ex-lover who ran away with the cat and my credit cards and left me broke and alone, the bastard
Met Gala 2017 Recap: Kate Hudson
For when I get married and want to pull inspiration from my favourite childhood style icon, Cindy Lou Who
Met Gala 2017 Recap: Doutzen Kroes
For when I get shipwrecked and spend my days sitting on a rock looking castaway-chic and singing ballads about the dramatic twist my life has taken
Met Gala 2017 Recap: Katy Perry
For when I wanna officiate a satanic ritual, but in a covert way so no one can tell who I am because my day job is as a receptionist at Kinkos and that might be bad PR for the company

 

16 Comments

  1. the rihanna one is too funny!

  2. So funny. Rihanna definitely stuck to the theme, that’s for sure! But personally I loved JLo in that beautiful blue the best.

    Tori

  3. Hahahahaha! LOCE these descriptions!

  4. I have never seen anything like that last outfit, but I loved so many looks I saw!

  5. Hahahahaha I loved this post. There were some gorgeous looks this year. Your commentary is hillarious!

    Carly | http://www.thecarlycollective.com

  6. I actually didnt pay any attention to the Met Ball this year haha but these are hilarious. I really liked Zendaya’s dress tho

  7. Emmy’s jumpsuit was a total slay moment! I would wear that so many places if I had the occasion.

  8. This post is hilarious and SO fitting for each of these. Loved the Snuggie one 😀

  9. Some of the dresses were so crazy! I love your commentary!

    Kristin
    The Blush Blonde

  10. hahahhahahha best post ever! I can’t believe some of these dresses are actually being worn…

  11. Oh my goodness this is so funny! I love your hilarious posts!

  12. Omg you’re so funny! I loved “For when I attend the funeral of an ex-lover who ran away with the cat and my credit cards and left me broke and alone, the bastard” – perfection!

  13. There were some really cool outfits, I actually really like Kate Hudson’s look!

  14. Hahha this is one of the best posts ever! Loved this!
    xoxo,
    Amy | Pastel N Pink

  15. Your posts ALWAYS make my day! You are hilarious. Really want that castaway chic look… mostly just that hairstyle though!

    XO, SS || Seersucker Sass

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