I created this blog for the sole purpose of providing myself with an outlet for my rambling tendencies and occasional narcissistic fashion revelations. It has therefore been the case that you are more likely to find an in-depth analysis of Beyonce’s latest visual masterpiece than any hard-hitting journalism on this blog. So if you are interested in the political opinions of someone entirely unqualified to be spouting them, might I suggest you try out Tomi Lahren?
However, we are less than 48 hours away from knowing who the next president of the United States is. And in a turn of events no one with half a brain or a modicum of human decency could have ever predicted, there’s a real chance that president could be the delusional orange lovechild of Godzilla and Voldemort who knows about as much about politics as he does choosing a flattering toupee.
So consider this another one of your daily reminders to vote if you can! Here are ten things that take longer than exercising your civic duty and potentially stopping a bigoted maniac from going anywhere near the White House. Back to regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.
- Trying to check out at Trader Joe’s on a Sunday afternoon. If you have time to patiently wait to purchase a jar of cookie butter and reasonably-priced falafel, you have time to vote.
- Getting ready for a night out. If you have time to go through every closet in your apartment to find the suitable shirt for emphasizing your boobs in a classy way, you have time to vote.
- Debating going for a work out. If you have time for internally debating whether it makes more sense to go for a run or stay in and make mac & cheese (a decision I cannot understand as I only run if I’m being chased), you have time to vote.
- Watching one episode of Scandal. If you have time to follow the increasingly complex plot lines of the most ridiculously dramatic political TV show in existence -Shonda Rhimes, you are a national treasure-, you have time to vote.
- Picking the perfect filter for your artsy coffee Instagram. If you have time to test out 5-8 variations of the same angle to best accentuate the contrast between the marble tabletop and your latte art, you have time to vote. (PSA: it’s A4 on VSCO. You’re welcome.)
- Attempting to find the right exit on the 34th street subway stop. If you have time to walk in circles for 15 minutes whilst trying to figure out which exit will drop you closest to your destination so you can minimize time in the cold, you have time to vote.
- Waiting in line at Starbucks behind hoards of trendy preteens in beanies for your coffee on the first day that Pumpkin Spice Lattes are released. If you have time to scoff at/Snapchat the basics who are standing in the way of you and your super-mature soy mocha with extra whipped cream, you have time to vote.
- Doing your nails. If you have time to paint your nails and spend the next 20 minutes trying to do things without using your fingers so you don’t get the crease lines of doom, you have time to vote.
- The Super Bowl. If you have time to commit to watching a confusing athletic event called “football” which inexplicably requires neither a foot nor a ball, you have time to vote.
- Reading this blog post. If you have time to read through my sarcastic attempts at encouraging political activity, you have time to vote. Also thank you for reading my blog ha ha ha please subscribe xxx