Last Friday, a Pennsylvania pizza shop was robbed by someone who stole more than 100 chocolate bars and also 8 chocolate chip cookies, exhibiting admirable self-control on that last bit.
Police are looking for the perpetrator, who is probably either Kirstie Alley or a pothead, in the Pleasantville, PA area.
I recommend they try Weight Watchers support groups. I also think whoever did this is a damn idiot for completely neglecting the PIZZA in a PIZZA STORE. They deserve whatever sentence they get for their overwhelming stupidity. Smdh.